changing time

picture this...you're out to dinner at what you would consider to be a "family friendly" restaurant, when your smell something quite unpleasant. you immediately recognize the odor and want to get of rid it as quickly as possible, before anyone else catches a whiff. you grab your child out of his high chair and quickly make a dash for the ladies room. much to your surprise there is NO changing table in the bathroom. before letting out a scream, you compose yourself and realize it must be in the handicapped stall, where they so often are located (why, i'm not sure...i mean do they think no one handicapped will ever need to use the bathroom at the same time a diaper is being changed?!?!). you open the door to the stall only to find 3 things...a toilet, toilet paper dispenser and sanitary napkin trash can. you begin to sweat and think "where am i going to change this kid's diaper? i can't do it on the floor because it is just plain gross. there's clearly not enough room to lay him on the counter next to the sink. i'd take him out to the car, but we parked 5 blocks away (of course!). UGH!!!"

well...think no further...before heading out next time, check out this website. anthony and his wife started this website in an effort to research and rate changing facilities in our local area. they welcome any additional info you may have...so if you would like to tell them about a place, i'm sure they'd really appreciate it!

together, we can change the world (or at least our kid's dirty diapers!)...one changing station at a time!

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to whom it may concern

to whom it may concern (or the higher powers that be)...

we need to talk.
i am realizing now, four+ years into this job as a certified M.O.M., that several details were not discussed with me prior to my taking on this position.

i'd like to discuss these with you and see if there are any changes we can negotiate.

1 - who is the boss around here? i was under the impression that upon taking this job, i would be the BOSS. i have come to find out that is not exactly the case.

2 - job description...i'm wondering if perhaps you could send this to me again. i am convinced i MUST have misread it. either that, or you've decided to add tasks to my job, which i was not made aware of before my start date.

3 - health hazards...i am beginning to think the job site may be hazardous to my health. for example, today i had to clean up poop, throw up and mucous...all within a few minutes. can you please tell me where i can get a good face mask?!?!?

4 - benefits...speaking of health, i have recently become sick. while i can't say for sure that it was caused by the hazardous waste in this environment, i am leaning toward that assumption. prior to taking this job, i did not know that the position of certified M.O.M., would not receive sick days. one question for you...how do you expect the BOSS to get better if she's taking care of everyone else? and yes...i've tried the tea with honey, the matzoh ball soup, and the meds...they're not working! i welcome any suggestions you may have.

5 - compensation...yes, i knew before taking this position that i would not be paid in dollars. but c'mon buddy...can't a girl catch a break? i had to buy an 89cent bottle of shampoo today! if you'd like to revisit this area of my employee agreement, i'd definitely be open to that discussion...HINT, HINT!!!

i must say however, you were right about one thing...the paycheck of the heart is the greatest!!! i mean...c'mon...look at these guys...

**note to all future candidates for the position of certified M.O.M.: i recommend finding an organization that will offer free orientation and on the job training. i think you will find this helpful before getting started.**

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