Friday, February 6, 2009

to whom it may concern

to whom it may concern (or the higher powers that be)...

we need to talk.
i am realizing now, four+ years into this job as a certified M.O.M., that several details were not discussed with me prior to my taking on this position.

i'd like to discuss these with you and see if there are any changes we can negotiate.

1 - who is the boss around here? i was under the impression that upon taking this job, i would be the BOSS. i have come to find out that is not exactly the case.

2 - job description...i'm wondering if perhaps you could send this to me again. i am convinced i MUST have misread it. either that, or you've decided to add tasks to my job, which i was not made aware of before my start date.

3 - health hazards...i am beginning to think the job site may be hazardous to my health. for example, today i had to clean up poop, throw up and mucous...all within a few minutes. can you please tell me where i can get a good face mask?!?!?

4 - benefits...speaking of health, i have recently become sick. while i can't say for sure that it was caused by the hazardous waste in this environment, i am leaning toward that assumption. prior to taking this job, i did not know that the position of certified M.O.M., would not receive sick days. one question for do you expect the BOSS to get better if she's taking care of everyone else? and yes...i've tried the tea with honey, the matzoh ball soup, and the meds...they're not working! i welcome any suggestions you may have.

5 - compensation...yes, i knew before taking this position that i would not be paid in dollars. but c'mon buddy...can't a girl catch a break? i had to buy an 89cent bottle of shampoo today! if you'd like to revisit this area of my employee agreement, i'd definitely be open to that discussion...HINT, HINT!!!

i must say however, you were right about one thing...the paycheck of the heart is the greatest!!! i mean...c'mon...look at these guys...

**note to all future candidates for the position of certified M.O.M.: i recommend finding an organization that will offer free orientation and on the job training. i think you will find this helpful before getting started.**


janet said...

being a good parent is definitely the most important job on earth...and you don't need to take a class, a test or get a license to become one. i won't go any further on that topic or i will rant and rave about those who should never have become parents.

daddy and i feel so blessed that our daughters and sons-in-love are
fantastic mommies and daddies!!
love, mommy

Anonymous said...

Hah! About the change of responsibilities... I think it falls into that shady job description category of "other duties as assigned."

Unknown said...

good thought lori!

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